Skip to main content
scrabble pieces spelling 3 words. Gain, Goal and Discipline

The Game-Changer: Discipline

Written by Carrie-Ann Barrow on . Posted in Carrie-Ann Barrow, Finding Purpose, Passion and Prosperity, For Leaders, Personal Development, Professional Development, Prosperity, Purpose, The Queen’s Decree.

Happy New Year, Queens!

I want to chat about something that has been a game-changer for me on my personal growth journey that I’m taking from 2023 to 2024: discipline. Last year, I sat with some big goals for myself, feeling the rush of inspiration, envisioning a future self that has it all figured out. But let me tell you, all that excitement is like a firework display on a cloudy day without one crucial element – discipline.

Now, I’m not here to rain on your New Year resolutions; in fact, you know I’m the biggest advocate for dreaming big! But what I’ve learned, and what I want to share with you, is that goals without discipline are essentially wishful thinking.

I want to share with you everything I learned this last year about how I achieved my goals with discipline.

Set Clear And Attainable Goals

Begin by defining your goals for the year. Make them specific, easy, and rewarding. Ambitious goals are admirable, but they must also be achievable to maintain motivation and avoid burnout. Burnout is the absolute killer of discipline. Staying on top of it is essential.

Be Disciplined About Routine

Discipline thrives in routine. Establish a daily schedule that aligns with your goals. Dedicate time for work, exercise, personal development, and (you know this is coming, Queens!) SELF-CARE. Adjusting routine is difficult at first, keep your head above water by remembering to keep things attainable. You’ve got this!

Embrace Accountability

Share your goals with friends or family members who can check in and offer support. Discuss your progress, shortcomings, and how you want to be better next time. Keep your ego in check! Things are difficult, but that leads me to my next point…

Learn From Setbacks

Yup. My Queens, we’re all too familiar with the setbacks. I know that as soon as you start to shift your schedule to prioritizing new goals, there will be the inevitable pushback from life. You must learn from it. Discipline is NOT about perfection but RESILIENCE. Adjust your approach when needed, but never lose sight of your ultimate goals.

Cultivate a Productive Mindset

You read that correctly, not a positive mindset, a productive one. Sometimes it’s in our best interest to take the L, learn from it, and continue forward. Stay productive by any means necessary. Take the Wins with grace, then continue on your path to the next goal. A productive mindset ALSO knows when to ask for help! Keep your eye on the prize and you’ll fuel perseverance, resilience, and essential elements of a disciplined approach.

If you want to conquer 2024, discipline is the key to unlocking your full potential in the new year. By setting clear goals, establishing a routine, prioritizing effectively, and holding yourself accountable with a productive mindset, you can manifest the discipline you need to make your goals a reality. I know if I can do it, you can too.

Happy New Year, Queens! Here’s to a year of growth, achievement, and self-discovery!

XOXO,

saying no this holiday season and enjoying a mocktail

The Art of Saying No and Enjoying Mocktails This Holiday Season

Written by Carrie-Ann Barrow on . Posted in Carrie-Ann Barrow, Finding Purpose, Passion and Prosperity, For Leaders, Personal Development, Professional Development, Prosperity, Purpose, The Queen’s Decree.

My dear Queens,

In today’s holiday season, we find ourselves caught in a whirlwind of social obligations and expectations. It’s as if we’re constantly racing from one event to another, one happy hour to the next, all while trying to meet the demands of our professional lives. But what if we could revisit the art and language of what it means to BE a QUEEN? I want to ask you, why don’t you take a step back and reclaim the power to make choices that prioritize your well-being, and authenticity, and manage the stress like we promised to do in every part of our lives… and apply it to the holiday season as well?

I’m proud when women step into their own and start seeing how valuable their time is. That doesn’t change in December! You don’t have to succumb to the stress or overindulge to fit in. You have the power to make choices that align with YOUR values, preferences, and self-care, all while navigating the holiday chaos.

Embracing the art of saying “no” is not about being a Grinch.

It’s about setting boundaries and making choices that nurture your soul. Isn’t that what the holidays are supposed to be about? It’s about understanding that you don’t have to conform to the expectations of others if it doesn’t serve you. You can still be the Queen of your holidays and the star at gatherings without sacrificing your mental health.

It’s perfectly okay to have a mocktail instead of the numerous alcoholic beverages pushed your way.

You can still be part of a holiday festivity without compromising your values. Enjoying a mocktail or non-alcoholic beverage allows you to engage in conversations and create memorable moments without the negative side effects of alcohol. You can maintain your regular schedule throughout the holidays if you prioritize boundaries and say no! Think of it as a gift to your liver!

By making self-care choices that prioritize your well-being and managing the holidays, you become an example for those around you.

Imagine your kids in the future who are able to actually enjoy the holiday season as adults because of the example you set for them. Your friends and family will see that you’re taking steps to manage stress and if they’re fussy about it, so be it, they’ll see you’re enjoying the holidays with your family not caring about anyone’s opinion.

The truth is that the holiday season should be about being around those you love, cherishing the moments of a beautiful year, and feeling grateful. You don’t experience any of that if you’re spread thin, trying to live up to other’s expectations, and beating up on yourself for not being able to keep up.

Queens, we’re here because we decided that our time matters. Our values matter. Our health matters. Don’t let that change during the holidays. Don’t let anyone shift your focus from being authentically happy, healthy, and whole.

I’m wishing you the most relaxing holiday season. I’ll see you next year!

XOXO,

How I’m not overcommitting this holiday season.

Written by Carrie-Ann Barrow on . Posted in Carrie-Ann Barrow, Finding Purpose, Passion and Prosperity, For Leaders, Personal Development, Professional Development, Prosperity, Purpose, The Queen’s Decree.

Hey Queen,

Ah! It’s time. November. School’s back in session and it’s time to start thinking about hosting dinners, holiday parties, exchanging gifts, and pulling it all off without feeling stressed. Because as always, you have somehow found yourself to be the party planner on top of everything else.

I’ve been there. I still am guilty of overcommitting during the holidays, and this is what I’m doing to actively prevent myself from doing that. I hope these reminders and tips help you stay calibrated and as relaxed as you can this holiday season.

Say NO.

It’s always my number one. I need to be better about saying no, and I’m sure you do too. Remember to keep an updated calendar with all of the obligations that you are happy to take on first. If you find it full and something comes up? DON’T negotiate. Either reallocate your priorities to make room or say you’re not available. It’s never worth the stress and there’s nothing wrong with passing something up or rescheduling to meet up another time.

Celebrate & Strategize.

This time of year is always a whirlwind. So make sure that between the holiday lights and festive tunes, toasts and the turkeys, you take a moment to reflect on your year. Jot down your valuable lessons and inspirational triumphs so you have them for the upcoming year. It’s not just about gearing up for festivities, but also gearing up for a proactive year ahead. Embrace the season as a bridge between valuable past insights and future engaging strategies.

Schedule self-care.

Do you have your budget for self-care? You should! Make sure that the budget is available for you year-round, especially during the holidays when you’ll be spread a little more thin! Make sure you’re taking deep breaths periodically throughout the day, checking in with your heart, taking walks, and having some time alone to read or journal. You need this! Self-care is a necessity, it isn’t a gift.

Laugh.

This may seem obvious… but I tend to forget to just shake things off. Stuff falls through the cracks, mistakes happen, and it’s okay. Nothing needs to be perfect. If you find yourself overwhelmed or feeling guilty, remind yourself of the peace you deserve and watch a funny video.

November is a strange month. We’re just getting into the swing of things with school and then it’s time to shake everything up with the holidays. Queens, don’t sweat it. Life is too short. Stop feeling guilty for actually trying to make the most out of this season.

Oh! You also have my permission to nag your partner, friends, kids, or whoever is in arm’s reach for help, because doing this all solo is so last year.

XOXO,

budgeting self-care

Is self-care in your budget?

Written by Carrie-Ann Barrow on . Posted in Carrie-Ann Barrow, Finding Purpose, Passion and Prosperity, For Leaders, Personal Development, Professional Development, Prosperity, Purpose, The Queen’s Decree.

Queen,

I’m going to talk about something that’s often overlooked, but crucial for your personal and professional journey: budgeting to invest in YOURSELF.

In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to get caught up in the daily grind, sticking to your budget, and putting your well-being on the back burner. But here’s the truth: your life, professional and personal, is going to be a marathon. Not a sprint. The reality is that I’ve seen strong women collapse under their own expectations and burnout.

Self-care matters. It improves our mental health, inspires new ideas, and allows us to be clear-headed when turbulent times come – because you know they will!

If you look at your current budget and don’t see a fund for your self-care, that needs to change immediately.

I’ve worked with many strong women who have never considered setting money aside for themselves. They can’t fathom a spa day, a shopping spree, or just scheduling a quiet afternoon to themselves.

I want you to challenge yourself by looking into your income and setting aside 3% of your income for YOU. Whatever that looks like!

Settle your worth, too. Do you believe you’re worth 3% of your salary? Can you fathom setting aside 5% or 10%? This is completely up to you and what your budget allows. My point is that we can spend our entire working careers being spread thin, underappreciated, and pushed to burn out if we don’t look out for ourselves.

Value yourself. Value your time. Value your self-care.

By budgeting for self-care, you’re making a commitment to your own well-being, and that’s a decision that will pay dividends in every aspect of your life. Go ahead, embrace self-care, invest in yourself, and evolve every aspect of your life.

XOXO,

Embrace Your Inner Queen: The Art of Self-Investment

Written by Carrie-Ann Barrow on . Posted in Carrie-Ann Barrow, Finding Purpose, Passion and Prosperity, For Leaders, Personal Development, Professional Development, Prosperity, Purpose, The Queen’s Decree.

Queen,

As the brilliant late summer sun casts its long, golden shadows, I’m reminded that just as nature effortlessly moves through her cycles, we too must embrace the transformative power of self-reflection and growth. Queens, this month, as we anticipate the coming retreat in November, let’s delve deep into what it genuinely means to prioritize ourselves. Investing in oneself isn’t about occasional indulgences; it’s a lifelong commitment to our purpose-driven journey.

Where Do YOU Feature in Your Budget?

When we sit down, pen in hand, to chart out our monthly expenses, do we account for our self-care? Not just the fleeting luxuries but the very essence of self-love and self-growth? In our meticulously planned budgets, it’s time we mark a dedicated space for our mindset nourishment, our visionary aspirations, and our desires to live life on our own terms.

Reflect on this, Queens: If that opulent spa day or that exclusive retreat costs you a mere 5% of your monthly earnings, isn’t that an investment in your well-being, your peace, and your rejuvenation? Isn’t gaining clarity around what you want the ultimate power move?

The Power of the Purse: More Than Just Money

Financial acumen isn’t just about numbers; it’s intertwined with our life’s aspirations. Every dollar you set aside for yourself, be it for a book, a course, a vacation, or even a quiet evening of solitude, echoes a profound mindset — you are valuable, and you deserve it.

A budget line for self-care? It might sound avant-garde to some. Yet, for the Queens who’ve realized that they’re their most significant assets, it’s a non-negotiable. It’s a tangible affirmation of their worth and a testament to their commitment to personal growth, both professional and spiritual.

Self-investment isn’t merely a financial term; it’s a life choice. As autumn unfolds, let us remind ourselves of our worth, bask in our desires, and make intentional choices that align with our heart’s deepest yearnings. After all, to live regally, one must invest in her own crown.

Sincerely,

Command Your Space Unapologetically, My Queen

Command Your Space Unapologetically, My Queen

Written by Carrie-Ann Barrow on . Posted in Bring Out The Queen, Carrie-Ann Barrow, For Entrepreneurs, For Leaders, For Women, Personal Development, Professional Development, Self-Awareness, The Queen’s Decree, Unapologetic Queens.

Queen,

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you are owed respect, yet you’re the one who feels obligated to apologize? To bend to the whims of others, even when they have wronged you? If this resonates, it’s time for a change. It’s time for you to start Commanding Your Space Unapologetically.

Unapologetic Command: The Birthright of a Queen 

Society often conditions us, as women, to downplay our needs, to swallow our pride, to smother our voice. But Queen, this is not our destiny. We are not here to feel small or to let others trample over our boundaries. We are here to shine, to lead, to command our space.

It starts with recognizing our worth. What are your non-negotiables? What are the boundaries you need to set for yourself to feel respected and valued? These are not selfish demands but rather assertions of your rights. Recognizing your own worth and commanding respect for it is the first step to harnessing the Queen energy you possess.

Next, we need to communicate our needs and boundaries, unapologetically. This doesn’t mean disregarding the feelings of others, but rather expressing our needs with firmness and tact. You don’t owe anyone an apology for demanding respect and asserting your boundaries. You owe it to yourself to live authentically and unapologetically.

Unapologetic Doesn’t Mean Rude

Being unapologetic doesn’t mean being disrespectful or dismissive of others. It means standing up for your values, your rights, and your dignity, while still respecting the humanity of others. It’s a delicate balance, but one that’s essential for maintaining your self-respect and commanding your space.

Remember, Queen, you are the ruler of your life. You have the power to demand respect, to set your boundaries, to speak your truth. Embrace this power and let it guide you to a life of unapologetic authenticity.

For further guidance on this journey, check out my book. It’s a powerful resource to guide you towards commanding your space, unapologetically.

Sincerely,

Queen, You Are Picture-Perfect

Written by Carrie-Ann Barrow on . Posted in For Women, A Queen’s Guide to Self-Care, Bring Out The Queen, Carrie-Ann Barrow, Developing Queen Confidence, Personal Development, Regal Coaching, Self-Awareness, The Queen’s Decree, The Royal Treatment. No Comments on Queen, You Are Picture-Perfect

Hey Beautiful Queen,

When is the last time you looked in the mirror and saw yourself as beautiful, and dare I say it, perfect?

Based on my personal experiences and those of the Queens I’ve coached, it may have been a while. Perhaps you can’t think of a time you’ve ever felt that radiant. First and foremost, know that you are stunning inside and out — whether or not magazines, television shows or movies visibly reflect the most gorgeous parts of you.

While we’re making progress, our society and culture still identify thin waists, long hair, curvy figures and small noses as the beauty standard. This emphasis on B.S. ideals makes us feel “less than” — less than perfect, less than worthy, less than desirable. The feeling sucks. And know, my Royal sister, that you are not alone. According to the Dove Self-Esteem Project, only 4% of women across the world consider themselves beautiful. Let that sink in – 96% of women across the world don’t realize their their own beauty. How is that possible?! When I look at my Royal Court of friends, colleagues and family, I see nothing but gorgeous Queens.

How Do You See Yourself?

Throughout most my life, I carried the common definition of beauty in my head, one that we as women are indoctrinated to believe. I mean, we still have beauty contests for fucks’ sake! FOR KIDS! We’re taught to see beauty as competitive, comparative and transactional — and that it only exists on the outside. That’s a definition of beauty that feels precarious. It’s the kind of beauty that can’t leave the house without being coated in heavy makeup or relies on ridiculous Instagram filters to feel valued. This is a beauty defined by the absence of imperfection, and one that robs us of confidence. Over the years I’ve learned, in part through photography and the work of brilliant photographers, that my beauty is defined by me, and me alone.

Capture Reality And Build Confidence

Years ago, I revamped my website, and needed new corporate photos. I’d just started doing the inner work, and wanted to lean into actually “seeing” myself as bold, beautiful, confident, and capable. I hired a photographer who took the time to learn about who I was, what I valued and what I wanted for myself — before she even picked up her camera. She encouraged me to do more than take professional headshots and to consider photos of all sides of me – badass yet soft, sexy yet sweet. The resulting images were of a Queen who is all those things. And damn, was she beautiful — it took a moment to believe that it was me in those photos! As mentioned, I had just started doing the inner work and was still learning about my own beauty, my own power. Those images, when I need it, are my go-to for “seeing is believing,” when I need a reminder that all I am on the inside, I am on the outside.

More recently, I did a photo shoot to celebrate the release of The Queen’s Decree and worked with photographer Dena Meeder — and she feels as strongly as I do about helping women develop Queen Confidence. It was an amazing experience!! As you can see in that photo collage below, Dena brought out my full royalty – my Queen Elizabeth I, my Marie Antionette, my Bad-Ass Monarch, my Playful Sovereign — all of Queen Carrie-Ann Barrow! Now, while I wouldn’t leave the house in that Marie Antionette wig, I had a lot of fun playing in the studio and seeing myself in literal Royal attire. Remember, it’s a visual representation of how I feel on the inside. When I look at those photos, my crown is shining bright inside and out, and so is my confidence!

The confidence that photography can help create has nothing to do with the camera. It had to do with showing up fully and working with Queens like Dena that see all of you just as you are — stunning, strong, brilliant and Royal!

Surprise Yourself, Queen! You Deserve It.

One of my Queen clients is a sixty-something entrepreneur that was advised to make her website more personal by using photos of herself instead of stock photos. She had procrastinated for months, as she dreaded the thought of being photographed (been there!).

She shared that she hated the way she looked in photos. All she could think about was how “perfect” she was in her early twenties and kept comparing her sixty-something body to her twenty-something body. I asked what she loved about herself back then besides what she could see on the outside. She loved her lightheartedness, her sense of adventure, the way she loves deeply, her willingness to take risks and so much more. What she described are the Values she holds — the jewels in her crown — and she still has all those things! We worked on how to present them on the outside because that is what really makes a person attractive.

We talked about how to bring those gems into view today and in images of herself. Her lightheartedness began to show up and we had so much fun talking about poses, wardrobe, scenery. I then challenged her to consider adding boudoir to her photography plans. This was a stretch, I knew that, and I also knew, based on my own experience, that it can bring out a side of a woman that we dutifully hide based on societal pressures. Truth is, she’s dying to be seen. I wasn’t suggesting this for her website. I was suggesting that she do this for herself to see that sexy side of her that she loved so much in her twenties. She took a deep breath and then, she smiled big and agreed. She texted me a couple of weeks later and shared that simply arranging the session has already boosted her confidence. (HELL YES!)

She had a ball selecting the perfect outfits and accessories and allowed herself to be the star of the show. Through the tool of photography, her Queen is coming to life! She’s bringing all her inner gorgeousness to the outside, so she can celebrate herself. My heart explodes as I think about the confidence, she was manifesting by giving herself permission to be what she already is, absolutely beautiful.

I encourage you to give this a try, Queen — you are beautiful inside and out! Stay tuned for an email from me with exciting news coming soon. Dena and I are working together on a women’s retreat this coming spring where attendees will have an opportunity to be photographed in their majesty. You won’t want to miss it!

Sincerely,

Queen Energy

Written by Carrie-Ann Barrow on . Posted in For Women, Bring Out The Queen, Developing Queen Confidence, Personal Development, Professional Development, Self-Awareness, The Queen’s Decree. No Comments on Queen Energy

Hey Queen,

Queens like us have a lot to accomplish — and wear a lot (I mean, a lot) of crowns! From Queen of our Kingdom to partner, mother, CEO, leader, co-worker, teacher, friend, daughter and so many others, our roles are as vast as our Kingdom. In Chapter 7 of my book, The Queen’s Decree, I talk about forming your royal court. We accomplish this by first allowing each of these separate, yet essential, roles to be allies, or “besties” if you will. When each of our previously competing roles band together, we give ourselves permission to not be all things all the time, which reduces the guilt we feel when we can’t do a million things at once. Sister Queens, I know this is not easy, but I do have a way to help you manage that stress.

It’s all about managing energy — your energy! It is the intention and attention that you’re giving emotionally, physically, and intellectually to yourself and the world.

Let’s start with intention — what is on your Royal agenda today? Is it a board meeting or sales call where the intention is focused on persuasion? Is it a day taking your mom to her doctor’s appointment where the intention is focused on care and love? Is it a day of royal treatment planned for you and a Sister Queen to get massages and focus on self-love? What is your intention for the day? Let’s start there.

Knowing your intention, give that your full attention for the day — and determine the energy needed to achieve it. If you’re looking to persuade, is It powerful, authoritative energy? If you’re with those who need you on a caring, emotional level, does your energy need to focus on patience?

Now, again, I know this isn’t easy! There are a lot of things out there that can hijack your energy. From simple things like drinking too much coffee to bigger things like getting a flat tire on the highway on your way to an important meeting — it only takes one challenge, and your energy can be zapped in an instant. Queens, stop with the caffeine when you need slower-pace energy (you’re welcome)!! And as far as the unexpected, these are known unknowns. Sh*t happens — we do know that. We just don’t know when. Either way, you’ve got this Queens, because Queen Energy is resilient, incredibly powerful, and truly impactful.

Queen Energy is…..

  • Self-Determined
  • Authoritative
  • Unapologetic
  • A Blinding Force
  • Powerful
  • Loving
  • Whatever You Want It To Be!

And regardless of what it is — protect it. How? Well, here’s the best part. There are no new steps to learn, no additional tasks to add to your day. Go back to the start. Focus on your intention and give it your full attention.

You, Queen, are responsible for your Queen Energy. Honor it — it is royal, as are you.

Sincerely,

 

Self-Talk Fit For A Queen

Written by Carrie-Ann Barrow on . Posted in For Women, Bring Out The Queen, Developing Queen Confidence, Personal Development, Professional Development, Self-Awareness. No Comments on Self-Talk Fit For A Queen

Hey Queen,

The words we use matter. And when it comes to feeling (and being) confident in both our personal and professional lives — words matter even more. We want our self-talk to be worthy of royalty! You, Queen, are royal after all!

In Chapter 8 of “The Queen’s Decree,” titled Speak Like a Queen, I focus on the topic of language. The words we use, and the words we allow others to use when speaking with us, matter. They make a significant difference in how we make decisions, how we feel about ourselves, how we present ourselves to others, and ultimately, our confidence. And ladies, what I want for you is Queen confidence. The kind of confidence that speaks before the words even come out and says, “See that Queen over there? Don’t even try to fuck with her.”

So how do we put the idea of Queen confidence into practice? How do the words we currently use stop us from getting that confidence — and how can we shake things up a bit to get it?

Let’s start with an example from a recent coaching session I had with an incredible professional who we’ll call Holly. Holly decided to make a career shift about four years ago into real estate and was absolutely killing it! She was fulfilled and happy. That is, until the negative self-talk would start.

You see royal ones, even when it seems we have it all together, there’s still an inner saboteur voice that visits most of us. You are not alone. It’s normal and it’s okay. What’s important is that you have the tools to adjust, rewrite and overhaul the language you’re using. And if you don’t have them yet, well, we’re going to make sure you get them!

During our session, I asked Holly when the last time was that the negative voice showed up. She explained that while at a realtor networking event, others were talking about their 20+ years, even 30+ years of experience, and the benefit that brings to clients. And she only had four years of experience. She asked herself, “Why would someone want to hire me as their realtor when I only have four?”

I gave Holly some homework. I asked her to make a list of all her accomplishments over the past four years. Then, I asked her to take the statement “I’ve only been a realtor for four years” and turn that into “In only four years as a realtor, I have accomplished…”

And it was magic.

In only four years, she had already received recognition for operating as the number one team in her county and for being one of the top 300 realtors in her region — and she is also a wife, a mother, a soccer coach and so much more. See the difference from “I’ve only been a realtor for four years” to “In only four years I have accomplished…?”

The shift in language, specifically in self-talk, is important. Holly is a benevolent Queen who wouldn’t minimize her partner, children, friends, or probably even a stranger in the grocery store with her language. And now, she is learning to treat herself with the same love and care.

How about you, Queen? How do your words speak the language of self-love? Listen closely, my royal friends, and when that negative self-talk shows up, imagine you’re talking to someone you love deeply and hold in the highest regard. Then, do just that. Give yourself the royal self-love you deserve and speak to yourself like you’re speaking to a Queen. Because – you are!

After all, words matter when talking with royalty. And you, sister Queen, are royal!

 

Fearlessly Self-Promote, Queen

Written by Carrie-Ann Barrow on . Posted in Taking Control of Your Kingdom, Bring Out The Queen, For Women, Personal Development, Professional Development, Self-Awareness, The Queen’s Decree. 2 Comments on Fearlessly Self-Promote, Queen

Hey Queen,

For a couple of years, between selling my IT firm and writing “The Queen’s Decree” – I was a stay-at-home mom (SAHM). On my first day in that rewarding role, I remember playfully and excitedly calling myself a “Domestic Goddess.”

See, I had just gotten the house in tip-top shape, helped the kids with homework and made a fabulous dinner. This experience was so new to me, and I reveled in it. I loved every moment of that day – and was so damn proud of myself! My kids, mom and ex-husband were with me as we sat down to dinner.

Instead of celebrating my accomplishments and new life focus, my mom and ex-husband laughed – they actually howled laughing – and made fun of the “Domestic Goddess” moniker I had given myself. It was humiliating, and I felt like I was a picked-on 6-year-old girl at the playground.

My mother and ex-husband – the two people I counted on the most to build me up – were making fun of me. Without a moment to process, and without time to think, I allowed myself to shift from pure joy to pure shame, just like that.

Be Proud and Fearlessly Self-Promote, Queen!

This is often the “damned if you do” and “damned if you don’t” dilemma mothers face in this day and age. When I was the CEO of my IT consulting company, I was never home enough to give my family the time they deserved – and my success came at too high a cost. And I never had the time, energy or ability to celebrate that success.

When I decided to celebrate my kick-ass day as a SAHM, it was clear the sheer joy I felt in my domestic success was laughable. Fuck me.

Give Yourself Some Credit, Queen. You’ve Earned It!

For some reason, when women self-promote, people find it distasteful, and we often experience this reaction from those closest to us. Why is that? Well, to me, it’s the age-old “sit down and look pretty” mentality.

And I’m done with it.

I’m done with the idea that my gifts – whether as a CEO, mother, daughter, coach, Queen, or whatever role I choose – aren’t worthy of celebration. Because they sure as hell are! I am worthy of celebration and even self-promotion, damnit.

Haters show themselves the most when you’re living your fullest. Let them come. It means you’re doing something right! They’re jealous that they’re not the ones doing it, truly. I promise you, it’s not even about you. Ever. It’s always about them.

In my book, “The Queen’s Decree: Finding Purpose, Passion and Prosperity Your Way,” I talk about the gift of the “IR” which stands for “I Rule.” When I care what the haters think, I make them relevant. I give them power. Shift your mindset and tell yourself “I Rule” and make the haters IR-relevant by adding the IR.

Practice this regularly, and you’ll be amazed by how little the haters impact you. And it’ll be one of the most freeing things you’ve ever experienced.

Sincerely,

 

  • 1
  • 2