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Breathe, Queen

Written by Carrie-Ann Barrow on . Posted in Taking Control of Your Kingdom, Bring Out The Queen, Exclusive Worksheets, For Women, Personal Development, Professional Development, Self-Awareness, The Queen’s Decree. 1 Comment on Breathe, Queen

Hey Queen,

I got an email from a colleague of mine for whom I have the deepest level of personal and professional respect. She’s also a coach, and one of her innate gifts is helping clients create a sacred space within – a space that holds you, and hugs you, with the kind of warm, compassionate love that always feels safe. She is a gift.

While it’s always a joy to hear from her, this email was one filled with heaviness.

When Responsibilities and Reality Collide

She’s in her sixties and finding that many of her loved ones are starting to struggle through the ailments, illnesses, and hardships that arise as we age. She is also experiencing the impact of aging personally – her aches and pains are more frequent, and her health is becoming harder to maintain.

This is the human condition, and I am convinced that no matter how much we’re told that it will come, it surprises us, nonetheless.

I read through her email. While she was navigating physical challenges, I noticed through her word choice that she was putting a tremendous amount of additional weight on her own back.

“I have to do this. I have to do that….”

There were six “I have-to’s” in just two short paragraphs.

I’ve been there. You may have been there, too. And if my colleague, an incredible Queen in her own right, mentioned that she has gotten to that place – I am convinced that we all have, or all will, at some point be overwhelmed by the burden of what we “should” accomplish at a time when it seems impossible to add anything else to our plate.

When I feel that heaviness coming on, I remember that really, all you or I, or any of us, have to do in any given moment is breathe.

When Overwhelm Takes Hold, Simply Breathe

Breathe in. Breathe out.

That is our only “have to” for living in the moment. Another way of saying this is to simply “be,” if only for a second.

The rest of what we “have to” do are all choices, some intentional, some not. If you’re not breathing first and foremost, the non-intentional choices – that guilt, that heaviness – takes hold of your inner Kingdom. And for a brief time, that’s okay. That’s human. Let that be, too. And then, take a step back and remember, all you really have to do is breathe.

Take in that beautiful, life-affirming air and hold it for a second or two, deep in your lungs. Embrace simplicity – and embrace how such a small action can make such a massive change. Simply, breathe.

Take long, slow breaths and let it flow through you. Feel it flow through you. Allow simplicity to clear space in your Kingdom for intentional choice, and I anticipate, you’ll find freedom.

 

Breathe.

You Can’t Have Bravery Without Fear

Written by Carrie-Ann Barrow on . Posted in Carrie-Ann Barrow, Determine Your Royal Decree, Developing Queen Confidence, Finding Regal Fulfillment, For Entrepreneurs, For Leaders, For Women, Personal Development, Professional Development, Self-Awareness, Taking Control of Your Kingdom, The Queen’s Decree, Unapologetic Queens.

Hey Queen,

Today, let’s talk about bravery, which you can’t have without fear. I’ve found that when I do the one thing that I fear in the moment – all the other things that I feared become a lot less scary, or otherwise completely irrelevant.

Fear Fuels Bravery

A brilliant business coach named Andie Monet said something that made me appreciate my fear. She said, “you can’t have bravery without fear.” That was great news for me, because when I decided to write a book, I found a lot of old fears coming back, and some new ones emerging.

As I thought about Andie’s words, “You can’t have bravery without fear,” I shifted my l mindset from thinking that fear is a restraint that’s holding me back – to recognize it as a tool that is pushing me to bravery. I imagined the shackles of fear coming off, and replaced that image with a gusting wind pushing me forward taking on my biggest challenges – and I did just that.

Facing One Of My Biggest Fears

Just before the release of my book, “The Queen’s Decree: Finding Purpose, Passion and Prosperity Your Way,” my biggest fear was hurting my parents. In my book, I share stories about my childhood, and some of the stories are difficult memories that are critical to understanding what I needed to do to step into my role as Queen of my own kingdom.

I wanted my parents to read what I had written before I published it. I put it off for months, and as the release came closer, I considered not publishing at all.

My inner Queen was hiding. And yes, I still have to call her out sometimes!

Then, I heard Andie in my mind, and I prioritized my value of bravery. I shared the book with my parents who, over the years, have grown as people, right along with me.

To be clear, the bravery came first in making the firm choice that the book I had poured myself into –and worked on for more than two years – would be published. Once that was done, while still very hard, talking about it with my parents was easier than my fear had led me to believe.

Remember, Queen – fear loses its grip when you realize that you actually need it to get that super satisfying feeling of bravery. You’ve got this, Queen.

 

Let’s Break Up, Social Media – For The Time Being

Written by Carrie-Ann Barrow on . Posted in Taking Control of Your Kingdom, A Queen’s Guide to Self-Care, Bring Out The Queen, Choose Your Velocity, Clarify Your Vision, Determine Your Royal Decree, Developing Queen Confidence, Discover Your Core Values, Finding Purpose, Passion and Prosperity, Finding Regal Fulfillment, Personal Development, Professional Development, Self-Awareness, The Queen’s Decree, The Royal Treatment. No Comments on Let’s Break Up, Social Media – For The Time Being

Hey Queen,

Ever felt like saying, “let’s break up” to social media?

Recently, my teenage son and I were talking about social media – and something he said really struck me.

He talked about how breaks from the social media apps (Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, TikTok and the like) are important – especially when you’re feeling down – because all you see are ways to become a better version of yourself. And that type of perfection is unattainable.

I thought about how many times I’ve felt that way over the course of my life (even pre-social media), and how sad it is that kids today feel that pressure so soon. There was a time when “Keeping up with the Joneses” was an adult-only worry.

Breaking Up With Social Media Provides Perspective

So, Queens, how do you deal with this pressure?

An important part of stepping into your role as Queen of your kingdom is remembering that you are the only one who can fill it – so there is literally no competition. None. Zilch. Zero. There is only one you.

That means you have no reason to compare yourself for not being “as rich as…,” “as fit as…,” “as successful as…,” or any other “as.” My kingdom can only be ruled by me – and I, just as I am, am perfect for the job.

I remind myself of this when I’m feeling the pressure my son described. And through my modeling as a parent, and conversations about his experiences – I remind him that he has agency over his life. He decides what he invests his time and energy into. And yes, he is so, so right. Breaks are important, as is the deep knowing and believing that he is enough.

Give yourself a break, Queen. You deserve it.

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